Let’s face it: trimming down your wedding guest list might be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning—especially if you’re trying to stay on budget or fit within a venue’s capacity. The truth is, cutting the guest list is where a ton of your savings can come from. So if you’re currently staring down a bloated spreadsheet and wondering how you’re going to cut it in half, don’t panic. I’ve been there—and I’ve got you.
Today, I’m sharing how my husband and I cut our guest list for our DIY backyard wedding without cutting the vibe, plus practical strategies, conversation tips, and a free spreadsheet to help you manage it all.
📋 Grab my free guest list planning spreadsheet to start organizing your names, tracking RSVPs, and collecting addresses when you’re ready to send those invites!
Why Cutting Your Wedding Guest List Matters
Let’s break it down. The more guests you have, the more expensive everything becomes. And if you’re here, that means you’re likly trying to avoid spending $33,000 + on your wedding (or the current average wedding cost, according to The Knot).
- Catering is usually charged per person. The fewer people you feed, the more affordable your wedding catering cost will be.
- Rentals (tables, chairs, dinnerware) are also priced per head.
- Even smaller things like wedding favors, drinks, and cake portions multiply quickly when you’re serving a crowd.
And then there’s your venue. Unless you’re getting married in a stadium, you’re working within a max capacity—that cap is very real. Our space could only safely and comfortably hold about 125 guests, which meant some tough decisions had to be made.
The Process: How We Cut Our Wedding Guest List
Here’s exactly how we cut our wedding guest list—and what worked:
✅ Immediate family only
Everyone on both sides was invited unless they were completely estranged or had no current relationship with us.
✅ No second cousins (or third/fourth/“twice removed”)
We had to draw the line somewhere. Extended family outside our immediate circles didn’t make the cut.
✅ Work friends = only if they’re real friends
If we didn’t hang out with them outside of work, they didn’t get an invite.
✅ Childhood friends = only the meaningful ones
Unless they were someone we still talk to or share a truly special bond with, we left them off.
✅ A & B (or even C!) list approach
We created an “A list” of must-haves and a “B list” of people we’d love to have but could only invite if space allowed. Once A-list RSVPs came in, we sent out a few B-list invites based on availability.
And yes, we were nervous about hurt feelings, but it ended up working beautifully—because we went into it with a clear process, and stuck to it.
Who to Leave Off Your Wedding Guest List (With Zero Guilt)
- Estranged or distant relatives you never speak to
- Co-workers you only interact with during Zoom meetings
- Old friends you haven’t heard from since 2015
- Friends-of-parents you’ve never actually met
- Anyone who adds stress, drama, or discomfort to your day
💡 Hard truth: If they wouldn’t be able to share a meaningful anecdote about you or your partner, they probably don’t belong there on your wedding day.
Step-by-Step: How to Cut a Wedding Guest List
1. Make your “dream guest list”
Start by writing down every single person you could imagine inviting. Yes, everyone. This is your baseline.
2. Organize your guest list by category
- Immediate family
- Extended family
- Friends (by groups: childhood, college, adult life)
- Work colleagues
- Plus-ones
3. Group into tiers
- 💛 A = Must-have: Non-negotiables
- 💭 B = Would-love-to-have: Important, but not essential
- 🤷♀️ C = On-the-fence: Haven’t talked to them in forever? Not sure why they’re on the list? They go here.
4. Create your final number based on budget + venue
Use my wedding budget guide to determine how many guests your budget allows. Then compare that with your venue’s max capacity.
5. Build your A-list and B-list
If you’re still over capacity, start with your “must-have” group and build a backup list to pull from as declines roll in.
But What About the Awkward Conversations?
Here’s how to navigate those sticky moments when someone asks, “So… when’s your wedding? 👀” Gahhhhh. Don’t worry, I got you!
If you’re limiting your wedding size:
“We’re keeping it super small and personal—we only had room for immediate family and our closest circle.”
If it’s a budget thing:
“We’d love to invite everyone, but we’re planning a more affordable wedding and had to make some really tough decisions.”
If parents want to invite more people:
“We’d love to make room, but our venue and budget just don’t allow for more guests. We had to keep it limited to the people we know best.”
Stay polite, honest, and firm. Most people will understand (even if they’re a little disappointed at first).
Final Guest List Tips for Couples on a Budget
When navigating the world of trimming down your guest list, here’s some final tips to ensure you accomplish your goals, without the stress.
- Be united. You and your partner should agree on the approach and back each other up.
- Don’t over-apologize. You’re allowed to set boundaries.
- Skip plus-ones unless they’re long-term partners or you know them well.
- Use a wedding website to keep guests informed and easily track RSVPs.
And before you have to chase down RSVPs later, bookmark this guide to navigating when guests don’t RSVP.
Before You Go…
💌 Grab my FREE guest list planning spreadsheet
This editable spreadsheet helps you:
- Organize your guest list by group
- Mark your A/B/C list
- Track RSVPs, addresses, and gifts
Because wedding planning is already overwhelming—you don’t need 50 loose Post-its to keep up with. And here are some additional resources that might be helpful as you navigate invitations, wedding websites, and non-RSVPing guests! 🙄
| ✅ Choosing and using wedding websites |
| ✅ Guide to DIY Wedding Invitations |
| ✅ How to navigate non-RSVPing Guests |
TL;DR: How to Cut Your Wedding Guest List
Cutting your guest list isn’t easy—but it is worth it. Fewer people means more budget flexibility, more time with your guests, and a more meaningful celebration overall.
Your wedding is about celebrating your love—not fulfilling every extended cousin’s social calendar.
You’ve got this. 💪